In a bad way. Watch something pretty.

Y'all. I'm in a bad way. I'm going to take some time off from blogging here. See you in 2 weeks. 

Until then, watch something beautiful. I posted this on the other blog this summer, if you saw it there, watch it again, anyway. XO.

Splitscreen: A Love Story from James W Griffiths on Vimeo.


Body Image Sticking Points: Feeding Yourself and Being in Flux

The big secret, I think, is that life is a continuous experience.

We have some ideas, sometimes, that there is an endpoint. We've all experience this in the context of how people view and treat their bodies--"I just need to lose 4 more lbs..."--but this doesn't just apply to the way people approach their bodies but how they approach their lives, generally. 

Obviously, this is a problem that many people face when they "diet." Because you have this end point in mind--some place to arrive. And when you get there, what happens? The diet is over? You've hit the end of the timeline and you're on your own? 

The reason that almost all diets fail, is that they do little to confront the larger question of how to live. Being on a diet is a good lens for this question. Say you find yourself in a position where you'd like to lose weight. Maybe it's vanity or maybe it's for your health. You can go on a diet, esentially overriding your normal lifestyle decisions with the prescriptions and rules, for a finite period of time, and lose weight. But without confronting the original lifestyle choices and changing them--working with yourself to find the right balance for you--it will ultimately not be sustainable. 

This blog has been an exercise in learning about myself in this way.

I try to live intuitively with respect to my physical body.

In a way, it is like enterting into a marriage with myself. I'm going to have this body for the rest of my life. I'm going to need to figure out how it works, what to do with it. I'm going to have to live in it. For, like, ever. Literally. The same goes for you, so you'll need to find something that's workable. 

A big part of this is learning to deal with change and flux. Before I left on my roadtrip to California, I confronted this idea emotionally and what it means to chill in the face of massive change. And I've confronted it physically a few times over the last 20-ish months of this blog as well: I am a living, breathing thing. I'm constantly changing. It's pretty normal. 

Getting past the idea of an endpoint is the goal but living intuitively is not exactly easy either. For example, while everyone has a sort of range of conditions they feel best in, how do you stay within the lines that you alone are responsible for laying down for yourself? I really want to look in the mirror and recognize myself, but a lot has changed.

Long story short, I've lost a bunch of weight. Something on the order or 12-15 lbs since I left the East coast. I simply won't eat food that makes me feel bad and that's limited my options. Beyond that, I haven't really been making time to take care of myself lately. I've fallen into an unusual rhythm for me. Strictly considering my weight, I wouldn't say I'm unhealthy, but, as far as habits are concerned, I'm leaving a lot to be desired and *that* doesn't feel good. 

So, while I try to figure out why I haven't been so hungry lately (cancer, obvs) I am going to try to get back into a more "normal" day-to-day for me. Today, I started by actually having breakfast. 

So, I'm just going to relax. After all, it's not like I just picked up, drove across the country, started a new job, moved into a new apartment and got involved with some amazing dude. Or, maybe, it's exactly like that. 

There really is no there: You do need to just keep recalibrating as you go. Self-tolerance and patience and all that stuff, 



Week in Review: Driving is for Suckers, Make-up and Leonardo DiCaprio (links)

This was my first week back working full-time at an agency so I am now...tired. but excited.

Even the roughest of weeks usually don't start out with a first day of work and a car accident, but I managed to recover with a hint of composure.

Trafic Jam Nightmares

OK. Not very much. But I made it.

On this site, posting was light.I wrote this one article about life in LA, image-obsession and Kanye West er...remaining calm in the face of a challenge to your beliefs....err...hoes.

Other internet thingies (Thanks to KP for sending me these)

  • Can you the habits of dating men advise your path to becoming a successful entrepreneur? Probably.
  • Want more respect from your coworkers? Sad, but true, makeup makes you appear more competent. Maybe this is why I feel naked without mascara?
  • Since everyone, at this point, knows that I'm a scrappy bitch: How to toast setbacks. Have some faith in yourselves, people.

Incidentally last night I went to the screening/mini-premiere of the new Leonardo DiCaprio movie (director by Clint Eastwood) J. Edgar. And, I wasn't a fan. In fact, Leo's fake hair is hard to stare at for the entirety of the film but that wasn't the worst part. Most importantly, I wanted to report that Naomi Watts is a tiny human in real life and that the camera adds 20 lbs to people making them appear to be almost-normal-sized on screen when in real life they are pygmies.

Something to think about when you're watching movies/ reading magazines/ thinking about being a normal sized human.

The star-stalking culture is really weird here, too. I haven't tasted that part of LA yet until last night. Of course, when we left the theatre, there were paparazzi chasing a few people across the street and random fans trailing behind them. As we left the after-party a little while later, a few stragglers lingered outside. When one asked if if he had just seen my date signing autographs, I had to laugh...What has become of my life y'all?

Happy Friday.

 PS. Twitter, anyone?


"How You Stay Faithful in a Room Full of Hoes" Or "What I Learned About Image-Obsession in LA"

So, if you're my facebook friend, perhaps you've noticed: I quote Kanye West like a delusional Westboro Churchgoer quotes Leviticus.

And, before I dig myself into a pit from the depths of which I will never be able to escape, let me just say this: This is not about actual sluts and/or hoes. Just the concept of aforementioned sluts and/or hoes. So fear not, chaste reader, this will not be a post that offends your tender sensibilities (for a change).

I've lived in Los Angeles for a month. To get to the point, everything people say about LA is true. But here is the corollary: It's only true if you want it to be.

So back to the analogical hoes in question. What I've gathered this to mean is that sometimes you will be faced with a choice. This applies particularly well for anyone who's taken a significant amount of time to think about what's important to them before they attempt to apply their values to the broader societal context, but I think that everyone will feel it a little bit when they find themselves in a place that is extreme in ways so much that it becomes a parody of itself in the way that LA does.

Your choice will be simple: You can conform to the conditions of what surrounds you or you can stay faithful to what you feel is right for you.

What does this mean in the OGND-sphere of things? Well, LA is an image-obsessed place. Everyone seems to have a "slash" in their title. Everyone's works in the business of how they seem and appear. But when I say "everyone" I mean that it's easy to see only a given city's initial offering. It's easy to say that everyone in New York is a douchebag I-banker or a gritty local. It's easy to say Parisians exist in a cloud of smoke and that butter flows through their vessels. Yeah. Yeah. We all know the stereotypes. And stereotypes are how you end up in a beret and striped shirt on the Chans de Lise getting laughed at by Parisians and giving Americans a bad name.

Stop it. There are better, more sublte things about Los Angeles (and, really, every place) beyond the preliminary stereotype. The hard part is doing the work to get beyond the initial layer of bullshit and superficiality.

So, basically, you'll occasionally find yourself in dangerous territory, such as LA. This territory may be indicated to you by a bunch of sluts standing around trying to get into your pants even though you have a girlfriend/boyfriend that you actually love or it may be marked by every third billboard being dedicated to some diet/medical procedure/silver bullet to make you beautiful.

The idea that you really have to understand yourself and what matters to you to be able to withstand external pressure becomes even more apparent when you're in an extreme setting. It could be easy to proclaim that it's out of your's just the way the world works. But it's way more bad ass to stick to your guns.

I'm not suggesting that you pretend that these proverbial hoes are something they're not. They're hoes. And there's actually a phone number 1-800-GET-THIN. What I am suggesting is that you make your way to the sanest section of the room and keep your zipper up.





Happy Halloween. Be Nice to Each Other This Weekend.

I'm enjoying a digital vacation. Allow Jenna Marbles to explain why you should be nice to each other.